Wednesday, 13 June 2018

MY LAGOS CHRONICLES: PART 1



So this past weekend, I went to Lagos for my cousin’s wedding. So in a series of posts starting from this one, I will be chronicling my sojourn there, including the good, the funny, the bad and the downright hilarious, loooool.

Friday: 8th June

The time is 7:40m. I am presently sitting at Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport Abuja lounge waiting for my 9:00 am Arik Flight to Lagos.

I am sitting across a short middle-aged guy who started a conversation with me at the security check. Apparently dude could not understand why we had to practically “undress” for security checks.

He came to sit facing me and I immediately knew he would strike a conversation with me. In fact my instincts told me he was going to come sit near me, lol.

At first I didn’t want to be bothered, I just wasn’t interested in small talks, but after leaving the restroom where I had gone to relieve myself from the bondage of urine, I thought to myself, why not, a little chat wouldn’t hurt.

That was how we started chatting oh and he even bought me a drink when I couldn’t stop yawning (I was hungry). 

Anyway, this post is not about the mysterious stranger, and coupled with the fact that he may read this, let’s move on. 

While I was at the check-in counter, I saw some of our celebs and I was so star struck that I was staring at them like a bush girl, while walking and that’s how I bumped full face into a man. It was so embarrassing but at the same time very funny. I apologized to the handsome dude and kept it moving.

Who did I see that made me stare like a fool? Kunle Afolayan, Adebayo Salami, Sound Sultan and Small doctor. Now if I had just been a little patient, I would have known that they would just be right behind me during security checks. 

Mehn, these guys are chilling especially Kunle and Adebayo. Their skin so fresh and so fair, looool, they’re finer than what you see on TV.

8:00 am: I’m taking notes of the people around me; people who like me are waiting for their flight. 

*The apprehensive married man who can’t stop glancing around, like he’s nervous or in a hurry.

*The couple sitting adjacent me who can’t wait to be alone – IN A ROOM. Kissing and holding hands, like it’s going out of fashion. The guy practically wants to enter into her.

*The lady who has a profession in LOOKING abi STARING.

*The playboy who’s calling all his chicks thanking them for making his stay memorable.

8:40 am: it’s time for boarding and the flight took off exactly 9:00 am. I’m so impressed with their services, no delay. #lowleyadvertforArik.

Remember I earlier said I was yawning endlessly; well I was hungry so I was seriously looking forward to the in-flight snacks the airline would serve. Anyway, I was shocked when I saw the snacks but then I dived in. But the snack which I cannot name made with coconut tasted burnt; it felt like firewood was used to make it. Luckily, the drink the mysterious stranger had bought for me came in handy.

I somehow felt the flight was too long, maybe because I haven’t flown in a long time or maybe because I felt a flight is not supposed to be long or maybe because I didn’t have any book on me to read, I was really bored. I began to ask myself people who fly international, how do they cope? What do they do during such long flights?

Imagine I forgot to tell you guys of the “oyinbo” guy that sat beside me. I noticed from his accent he sounded almost Nigerian so I had to probe him. Poor guy, he looked like he couldn’t be bothered yet I questioned him to no end. 

When I was questioning him about his almost Nigerian accent, he told me, I’m a Nigerian, I have a Nigerian Passport. I was surprised. Anyway, I did small talk with him to suppress my boredom until we landed. 

Immediately we landed, I downloaded the Uber app so I could get a taxi to take me home. I initially thought I wouldn’t need it, but my friend who had earlier promised to pick me from the airport bailed at the last minute that he couldn’t make it. I was disappointed but I understood.

You guys wouldn’t believe I waited for an Uber for almost an hour. The first driver, who picked my ride, started a trip with someone else while keeping me waiting.

When I was tired of waiting, I called the driver only for him to tell me he was sorry, he was on another trip, but forgot to tell me, imagine. I was so pissed.

The second driver got lost or rather couldn’t find me and after waiting in vain for him I ended the trip.

I guess the third’s time is my charm, because the third driver that picked up my ride eventually found me with no hassles and happily took me home.

Now I discovered that Uber is cheaper than taking a normal taxi. While I was waiting for an Uber, I said, why don’t I try taking a normal taxi, but guess what, the taxi driver said I would pay N4000 to Ogba from the airport. Immediately I heard that, no one told me before I went back to my search for Uber. I eventually paid N1o50 for Uber.

12:30 pm: I eventually got home, but there was no light and I felt the day was still very young, so I told myself why not go into town and see what Lagos looks like.

That’s how I bundled my cousin to follow me; we went to Ikeja City Mall (ICM). Before we arrived at ICM, it was tough. One thing I have realised with Lagos is that, transportation is more expensive than in Abuja. Moreover, there are too many stops, too many buses, Keke you have to enter before you finally get to where you are going. 

I was telling my cousin that if one doesn’t have a car in Lagos and the person is fat, then something is wrong. In that city, you have to do a lot of trekking. In fact at the end of that Friday, I was so tired, exhausted and frustrated. The sun was too hot, I had walked endlessly, my legs were seriously paining me, I couldn’t wait to get home and take a bath.

After that experience, I just told myself relationships in this town will be difficult to maintain. After getting home after a very stressful day, the last thing on your mind is to visit anyone. The day you’re free, all you want to do is to rest. 

I was now like no wonder, Lagosians hardly visit each other. I remember years ago when I was working in Lagos, on one of my off days, I went to Yaba to visit my friend from Ogba, she was so shocked that I came all the way simply to see her.

Like the mysterious stranger at the airport who was so surprised when I said I was going to Lagos to attend my cousin’s wedding. He said it was commendable. But I personally do not see it as a big deal. 

Maybe Abuja has spoilt me, but even when I move to Lagos, I will visit people. It’s already in my DNA. 

Yeah, you notice I wrote when I move to Lagos; truth is I love Lagos. Abuja is too quiet for me right now and I think I’m tired of the quiet life. But I will only move when I will be super comfortable i.e. having a Car and a decent accommodation.

If one doesn’t have a car in Lagos, na just sufferhead. One will just suffer for nothing.

Thank you for reading. Part 2 & 3 would be coming up later. It took me almost 3days to write this, I think I am getting lazy.

Anyway, I appreciate the love.

PS: Lagosians did I describe your city well? Please share your thoughts. 



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Great Lady

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5 comments:

  1. Nice write up. You described it so well that's Lagos life. You had a great trip to Lagos too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're becoming a more interesting writer by the day. You got me giggling and making small laughs through the read 👍👍

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lagos, oh, Lagos. Ever busy, stressful and fun Lagos.

    Tolu.

    ReplyDelete