Tuesday, 10 April 2018

Obsession: How to Recognise and deal with it

Whoever says these things has what psychologist call obsessive love disorder. In simpler terms, the person is obsessed with you. 

Asides the above, behaviours exhibited by someone who is obsessed with you are


  • Extreme Jealousy: truth is if you love someone, or someone loves you, there will be a certain level of jealousy. But when it gets to the extreme, then there’s a problem. For example, you cannot be seen with the opposite sex, you can’t have friends of the opposite sex. Obsessive people are insecure and cannot handle any threats.
  • Your partner needs constant reassurance of your love.
  • Need to always know where you are, what you are doing and with whom. A healthy relationship is one where you can be yourself. Healthy relationships allow both people to feel loved, cared for, and respected and allow for each person’s individuality and the pursuit of their own lives and friendships outside of the love relationship.
  • Extreme Calling: calling 50 times in a day is not normal. Someone has once called me 64times in 30 minutes. The worst part is where you don’t pick; they get very angry and demand to know why.
  • They say “I love you too soon”.  You meet someone in the morning and by afternoon, they already send a text saying, “I can’t do without you, I love you”. Or “seeing you make me go weak”. I’m not exaggerating, I’m writing out of experience. You can’t love someone just like that; love is borne out of knowledge. You can’t love someone you don’t know.
  • They tell you, you’re perfect. You have no flaws. The problem is this is that, they are in love with an idea, in love with an image they have in their head. An image you may never be able to live up to. You have been placed on a pedestal; a scale of perfection. But the day you exhibit a weakness (as a normal human being) they would hate you with the same intensity they once “loved” you. What an obsessive person fails to realize is that, no one is perfect. Our flaws and weakness are what makes us humans. A relationship is the merger of two imperfect people. Run away from such people because no matter what you do, you will never be good enough, because how can a human being meet up with fantasies, the obsessive person have in their head about you.
If you are the one who’s obsessed with another person, please you need to see a psychiatrist and get busy. It is abnormal and a disorder.

If someone is obsessed with you, please leave that relationship and run away. Obsession is never a good thing. 

Obsession is not love. Love is not selfish. Love wants the best for the other person. Someone who truly loves you will not tell you, I will never let you go. Or blackmail you with I will kill myself if you leave me. 

Obsession has never ended well with anyone. Domestic violence, threat to life, stalking and even murder all began with obsession. 

Thank you for reading. 

References



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