Wednesday, 25 October 2017


The day before yesterday, while coming out from the restroom, I was stopped by a male colleague. I was surprised, not because I didn't know him, but we weren’t friends; we were just colleagues who also happened to attend the same church. He said he wanted to see me and I should please don’t be offended for what he’s about to tell me.

My heart started beating, I was wondering what on earth oga wanted to say. Well, I didn’t have to wonder for too long, cos I urged him to feel free to share his thoughts.

He then said he overheard some people talking about me that I don’t greet them. I asked him please who these people are, he said my mum’s junior colleagues are saying I don’t greet them. 

Thing is, my mum just retired as a nurse and she retired as a chief nursing officer and she had a lot of nurses under her. I know only a few of them (I work in the same organization that she worked). 

Back to my story.

He then said, in fairness to me, I may not know them but because my mum was a matron they would have certain expectations of me. That I should please be greeting nurses. By the time he was done speaking, I thanked him and left. 

I got back to my office and was thinking about it, I greet the people I know, the people I don’t know I don’t greet. I thought so because my mum was a matron I should be greeting any nurse I see, simply because I am her daughter?

It doesn’t make sense to me, and I became angry. Lord knows I greet people that I know and no matter how far they are from me, I try as much as possible to shout the greeting because I know how much they live on greetings. 

When I first started the job I didn’t understand the obsession for greeting. At the time I wrote on my fb page how I had greeted that day up to 100o times, no jokes. It’s no exaggeration. The hospital where I work is a conservative place and the people here are very traditional and archaic in their ways. 

Unfortunately for me, because my mum worked here and I grew up here, a lot of people know my family, they know I & my siblings but we don’t know them. So they expect you to relate with them the same way my mother relates with them.

But I am not my mother. I came from her; yes, but that doesn’t mean we are the same people. It’s just very annoying people expect you to fill the shoes of a parent.

I just resolved, I won’t do more than necessary. Even if I know you and you are far, I will walk away. If you are close and I know you I would greet. I have realized you can never please people no matter what you do.

This is the same expectation, families have of firstborns. I have been wanting to write on the sometimes unrealistic expectations, parents have of firstborns.

You are expected as a firstborn to be an assistant parent, to take over the responsibility of your younger ones as soon as you are assumed capable, you are held to a higher standard than the rest of your siblings, in fact your upbringing is different because your parent is tougher on you than the rest.

But really, are all these expectations bad? Maybe not, but I think it’s high time we stop living up to the expectations of society and live up to the expectations God has set for us.

These expectations can put undue pressure on people, and we should learn to allow others live and to breathe. 

In what ways have you experienced undue pressure? How where you able to overcome? Kindly share with us.

Thank you for reading.

About Author

Great Lady
Great Lady

Author & Editor


Post a Comment