SHOULD I MARRY HIM?

by - 20:24:00



This evening while reading a popular blog, a lady asked a question whether she should marry her boyfriend who’s gotten his side chick pregnant. They had being dating for four (4) years and she’s now in her thirties. 

So many things shocked me; firstly the fact that she could ask this question means she’s considering marrying him, but in my opinion its foolishness and shows a terrible lack of self esteem.

Secondly, the responses people gave especially from ladies made me very sad. 
 Honestly, after going through the comments section, I felt sad for my generation.  A lot of women were of the opinion that there’s nothing wrong in marrying the guy if she truly loves him. They were of the opinion she’s old (imagine), and wouldn’t get another man, that moreover men will always be men.  

Thirdly, the scramble for marriage beat me. Some ladies were of the opinion that the side chick may not even be pregnant but just want to get married to the guy at all cost, so the lady in question should still marry the guy regardless of the side chick claims of being pregnant. Honestly speaking, I didn’t know when marriage certificate became the ticket to heaven.


I’d advise people not to rush into marriage or make it a do or die affair. If a man knows you’re desperate, he’ll treat you like crap. Probably Isaiah 4:1 is just being fulfilled it says, “In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, ”We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”

Fourthly, some people were of the opinion that if she loves him, she should still marry him, unfortunately love alone for marriage is not enough. Love is good, but there are other important things you should consider when you want to marry someone. Things like, are you guys compatible, what’s his purpose, is he God fearing, a man of character, is he matured, is he financially stable, does he respect you etc. Moreover Love is not blind, instead it should make you fully aware of the decision you’re about to make. 

Now here’s the thing, if you’ve gotten to age 30 and above, please don’t just marry anyone. You’ve waited that long, let the guy you eventually marry be worth it. Unfortunately this is often not the case; ladies in their thirties are often so desperate and they’re ready to marry anything in the name of a man.  I believe at that age, you should be more mature, more confident to be able to make the right choices. You should know what is good for you and what is not. 

Ladies please let’s have respect for ourselves, if a man cannot respect you enough as not to cheat, then he’s not deserving of you. Respect yourself enough to only be with people who wouldn’t take you for a ride. 

The funny thing is they’re not even married, yet dude is sleeping around. I always say this, if a marriage is going to crumble, there would have being signs during courtship. A boyfriend is already sleeping around, my dear girl it won’t stop after marriage except he’s genuinely repented before God. If he had the audacity to cheat when you’re not married, what makes you think he would stop after marriage? If a man would cheat, he would still cheat regardless of whether you guys are married or not except he personally takes a decision to change. So dear lady, stop thinking that by getting married to him, you would change him, you aren’t the Holy Spirit. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage, don’t be afraid to end a relationship no matter how long it has being, you’re never too old to meet the one for you, please don’t ever forget that. 

Dear Ladies, marriage is not a competition. If your boyfriend has numerous girlfriends and he eventually marries you, don’t think you’ve won, rather your battle just started. AIDS is too real to gamble your life away; unfortunately there are many innocent married women who got it from philandering husbands. 

I don’t buy the idea that all men cheat. NAH. The fact that the one you know cheat, doesn’t mean they all do. There are men who would rather die than cheat on their wives. Don’t EVER buy into that generalization that all men are the same. They way you’re treated; it’s the way you presented yourself. Demand more from your partner. 

I believe that when women get serious with discovering why God brought them into this earth and actively pursuing it, only then we will be delivered from this mentality of marry me or I die. 

Lastly, I feel we should all work on improving our self esteem and confidence, cos if you truly love yourself, you would know that you deserve better than a lying cheating man. 

God bless you for reading. Thank you for stopping by. I love to hear from you, so drop your thoughts in the comment section. 

Photo Credit: dreamstime.com


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