WHO STOLE MY WEDDING GOWN
Pictures of billboards and fliers of church events with titles like
“This Beautiful Sister Must Marry” or “Lord, Give Me A Wife Or I Die” have
often gone viral on the Internet and generated a good laugh. “Who Stole My
Wedding Gown?” was a particularly humorous one.
Whether these events actually took place or what the content of those
programs were is anyone’s guess. Once upon a time, churches would establish
youth events to address the needs of younger members and create avenues through
which their energies could be expressed.
Initially, these fellowships provided a forum where basic Christian
principles of life, marriage and courtship were taught. They grew out of a
legitimate need to address the complex issues of relationship, marriage and
family.
Strangely, over the years, many of these meetings mutated to the point
where they began to run as clinics to deliver their members from “the curse of
singlehood” and obsess over marriage. It was marriage at any cost. Preparing
people for marriage is a great thing, but an overemphasis on marriage as the
sole objective of every single person is questionable and ultimately
detrimental.
This approach is not consistent with the biblical understanding of
singlehood, or even marriage for that matter. The idea that single adults are
somehow incomplete or less whole than their married peers is false and has no
basis in Christian thought. That unmarried persons have to attend night program
to be ‘restored’ or delivered from enemy attacks is preposterous.
Jesus Christ the founder of Christianity was a single man; Paul the
Apostle, Christianity’s greatest proponent was also single. Paul’s assessment
was that both singlehood and married life were good conditions to be in. He
said being single was actually better in some circumstances than being married.
In any case, whether single or married, only Christ can satisfy the longing in
the soul for higher purpose and meaning.
We must beware the idolatry of marriage, which is the perception of
marriage as the pinnacle of the Christian life and the answer to all of life’s
problems. Not only does the propagation of this dangerous myth devalue
singlehood, it also creates a false impression of marriage as a state of
eternal fairytale bliss.
Having spent their single years waiting for marriage, many then enter in
entertaining delusions of ease, hoping to live with Prince or Princess Charming
happily ever after. They are completely unprepared and ill equipped for the
rude shock that the journey of marriage represents.
The best marriage on earth cannot fill the God-shaped vacuum in the
human heart; only Christ can do that. We must therefore keep our priorities in
perspective, seeking wholeness and completion first in a relationship with the
Creator before building relationships with others.
We were not created for marriage; marriage was created for us. It was
designed to enhance our purpose with God on earth, purpose that exists whether
we are married or single.
Singleness is not a limitation or a negative thing. Marriage is good but
singles should enjoy life and live it to the fullest on their way to the altar
instead of bemoaning their single years.
Young people who spend their youthful days mourning over being single
end up living below their potential. In fact, they unwittingly undermine the high
purpose of their existence. Rather than put their lives in a state of suspended
animation ‘believing God’ for this suppose ‘ultimate goal’ in life, single
people should spend their time pursuing their divine purpose.
This is the time to live with a sense of mission. A time to be equipped
with spiritual strength. A time to acquire skills, hone gifts and discover
purpose. This is the time to prepare young people to charge into various
sectors of society and unleash change. We should be priming the vocational and
entrepreneurial instincts of our youths for a life of excellence and maximum
achievement.
The season of youth is the time to clarify faith and values and deepen
principles. Single years are a time to prepare for the great days that lie
ahead.
I love you for reading, thank you for stopping by. If you
have any thoughts, kindly drop a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com
Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com
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