FRIENDS FIRST; THEN LOVE

by - 12:18:00



So on Sunday at church, there was a couple’s game which was to test how much couples know each other. The husbands were asked questions about their wives and after writing their answers down, the wives would then give the answer to the question. If the answer corresponds, they got a point. (For example, what is your wife’s shoe size, her best food, best colour etc) unfortunately, some husbands couldn’t get it. 

To say the least, I was shocked because I believe these are very simple things that couples should know about themselves. 
That is why I’m an advocate that couples should be friends. As a husband, your best friend should be your wife and vice versa, but unfortunately, this is often not the case. Why should a married man’s bff, be someone else than his wife. I don’t get it. Is there something you shouldn’t be able to tell your wife??? 
There will be a time when love may be dwindling, but it’s the friendship that will keep the relationship. I believe couples should be in sync. They should know and understand each other perfectly.

Unfortunately these days, people marry for different reasons, I doubt if emphasis is placed on getting to know one another well before jumping the broom. That is why compatibility before marriage cannot be over emphasized. You must be compatible with the person you want to get married to. What is compatibility? Compatibility is asking these questions, does this person fit me? Are we heading in the same direction? What is this person’s purpose and how do I come in? Before you ask the question of compatibility, first of all know yourself. Until you know yourself, you cannot know if someone fits you or not. For example, if you’re an inpatient person that you know the only person you should marry is someone with a degree in patience. 

Get to know the person you want to walk down the aisle with. Ask questions. The Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya always said, the reason why couples commit fornication is because they aren’t talking/asking questions. Find out everything possible you need to know about the person. Her book: How to choose a life partner, the 165 questions is very helpful. 

I believe marriage shouldn’t be boring, it should be fun. How can it be fun? marry your gist partner. Marry someone who totally gets you, your buddy, the one you’re not afraid to be naked with. Even after marriage, don’t let the love or what attracted you in the first place die, keep the fire burning. Don’t stop dating your partner. 

Thank you for stopping by, I love you for reading. If you have any thoughts, kindly drop a comment. God bless you. 

Picture source: Google

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2 comments

  1. Nice writeup, Abuja girl. I visit your blog from time to time. Found you on bellanaija. Keep up the good work. But I feel differently on this particular topic. Friends first then love, is the ideal way. The lines do not always tally that way.

    Experience will teach you that finding the ideal partner - even as a Christian - is very tricky. Therefore, more wisdom than idealism is required. Common scenarios you have would be: good friends, no chemistry. Chemistry, poor compatibility. Compatibility, no commitment. Commitment, little chemistry. There are so many permutations. A guy could be your best friend but he's just not ready for commitment. A guy may not tick all the boxes, but he's highly dependable, of great character, big on commitment.

    It's your place to decide what you can live with. Waiting for the perfect combo is not advisable to be honest. I'm talking from experience. I've been the good virgin Christian girl waiting for the right partner. Truth, it's not black and white like we often think. Sometime in the future I'd love to conduct workshops for naive Christian girls. God help us all!

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  2. I think what bored girl is trying to imply is that your spouse should be your best friend.
    I would also add that you find the one that you are compatible with and make that one your best friend.

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